How I won the "lottery" and had it taken from me.

I travel across the Ambassador Bridge between Windsor, On. and Detroit, Mi. almost every day for work. Not usually a problem. I have a commuter pass which allows me to swipe a card to pay my toll which speeds up the process. These toll booths are not attended by personnel and usually have a yellow flashing light or no light on at all above them. From time to time, people swipe their card a couple times because the gate doesn’t raise in the thirty three nanoseconds they think it should, and it causes the gate to stay open after they pass through. This is like hitting the lottery as far as I’m concerned and it happens to me many times.

Last night I saw such an opportunity. When coming back across the border, I pull up to the toll booth area and see one of the lanes with the gate wide open, no light on above and no one in the booth. Kick ass. So I pull up and head on through back to the safety of my home land. And then I hear, “HEY! HEY!” I look in the rear view mirror and see a woman waving her hand out the window of the tool booth at me. Fuck. She pulled a fucking Whodini on me and wasn’t going to let me get away with my free pass.

“DIS A TOW BOOF”, she scolds.

“The gate was open and there wasn’t anyone there. Your light isn’t even on! I come across the border all the time and this happens all the time in the unattended lanes”, I reply.

“Dis a tow boof. You gots to pay tha tow. I down’t cayer if tha gate is open, you pay tha tow.” I pay and then I could swear she said, “Cracka ass Cracka” under her breath. Wow. What the hell do you care? It’s not like the $4 is going to make the bridge go into bankruptcy. When I worked at Wal-Mart, I used watch people shoplift stupid shit all the time. Did I care. Fuck no. Wasn’t my shit, and I certainly wouldn’t see another dime on my paycheck if I stopped them. Trust me, I tried that route.

And if the lane is in service, turn on the fucking light and drop the gate! If the gate is malfunctioning, put some pylons in front of it so no one can drive through! It’s a simple concept.

I hope I get her as a toll booth attendant again. I’ll be ready with 400 pennies for her.