I have seen heaven, and it's made of chicken and beer

Over the weekend, my lovely wife and I spent our time in the town of Frankenmuth, Mi. You don't even understand how fantastical this place is. But beware, with the good comes the bad. Here is a short list of the pros and cons.

Pros:

1. Frankenmuth is the location of the only North American distribution center for Hofbrau. That right there ranks it in the Eight Wonders of the World.
2. All you can eat Fried Chicken Dinners. I don't know what they put in this shit, but wow. A metric ass load of side dishes, mashed potatoes that melt in your mouth, stuffing, veggies for colour, buttered noodles, and of course all the delicious fried chicken you can eat. Oh, and Hofbrau on tap! Delishis! There's no need to eat for at least nine days after this feast.
3. Fresh Fudge and places called "haus" and "garten"- need I say more.
4. Hofbrau. Nectar of Bavaria and the official beverage of Mensa.

Cons:

1. It's in the middle of Michigan, which means this side of nowhere.
2. It's a retirement attraction. Old folks by the bus load. This should be outlawed. Old people shouldn't be allowed to clog the streets keeping me from the Hofbrau. Send them to Shitshewana.
3. As the chicken dinners are so absolutely awesome, and they are "all you can eat", it's a magnet for the morbidly obese and every stereotypical NASCAR fan. I find this funny, and constantly get smacked for cracking jokes.
4. The only place to find Hofbrau, (that I've found).

Be warned and maybe consult the intrawebs for further information regarding the dangers of Frankenmuth. But for those that can survive, the rewards are sweet.